The adab of Visiting

Islam has taught us that while visiting others, we should follow prescribed rules of etiquette (Islamic Adab). Without doing this, we could easily lose our beloved friends.

Hadith - At-Tabaraanee collected it, and Albani authenticated it in Silsilatul-AHaadeethis-Saheehah (#432).
The Prophet (saaws) said: "The most beloved of Allah's servants to Allah are those with the best manners."

Sometimes people visit one another without calling ahead to announce that they are coming. However, it is sometimes difficult to receive guests unexpectedly. In that awkward situation, people often feel they have to apologize because they cannot receive guests when, actually, the fault is on the part of the visitor. Instead of understanding, though, many times the visitor becomes upset.

Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) said, "If you were asked to go back, go back; that makes for greater purity" [Surah Nur; 24:28].

We should do our best to not embarrass others with an unexpected visit. Choosing an appropriate time to request visiting our friends is also important. We should never disturb them at times that are reserved for resting or relaxing.

Imam al-Tabari, in his tafsir (Exegesis), reported that a man of the Muhajirin said, "All my life, I wanted to practice this verse, 'If you were asked to go back, go back; that makes for greater purity,' but I could not. I was hoping I would seek permission to visit a brother and he will tell me, "Go back!' I will gladly go back fulfilling this directive of Allah."

Volume 8, Book 74, Number 262:
Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri:
While I was present in one of the gatherings of the Ansar, Abu Musa came as if he was scared, and said, "I asked permission to enter upon 'Umar three times, but I was not given the permission, so I returned." (When 'Umar came to know about it) he said to Abu Musa, "Why did you not enter?'. Abu Musa replied, "I asked permission three times, and I was not given it, so I returned, for Allah's Apostle said, "If anyone of you asks the permission to enter thrice, and the permission is not given, then he should return.' " 'Umar said, "By Allah! We will ask Abu Musa to bring witnesses for it." (Abu Musa went to a gathering of the Ansar and said). "Did anyone of you hear this from the Prophet ?" Ubai bin Ka'b said, "By Allah, none will go with you but the youngest of the people (as a witness)." (Abu Said) was the youngest of them, so I went with Abu Musa and informed 'Umar that the Prophet had said so. (See Hadith No. 277, Vol. 3)

Inside the house and also the back of the house are private quarters for the people who live there. Islamic adab teaches us not to look inside someone's home without first getting permission. Sa'd ibn Ubada (radiAllahu anhu) relates that, "A man stood facing the door of the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) while asking permission (to enter). The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said, 'Turn this way,' turning him away and ordering him to move farther from the door, saying, 'Asking permission is prescribed to prevent intrusion'." [abu dawud and al-Tabarani].

If we follow the way of the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) while visiting our friends, we will avoid many problems and we will be able to protect our friendships, Insha'Allah. And if we love our friends for the sake of Allah, we will respect their rights of privacy and our behavior will not cause them to feel offended by us or alienate them from us.